Love-schmove. Here we go again, another Valentine’s Day. We can thank capitalism, such as Hallmark, florists, and the restaurant industry for this invented celebration. Whether you are coupled or not, there is a lot of pressure. The two dozen red roses I gave my [fill in the blank] shows how much I love my [fill in blank]. My IG post toasting with a flute filled with champagne is how I’m great at being single. We need to disrupt these expectations.
What do you have against love, Dr. Z? Nothing, I’m a big fan. I am a giver and recipient of love. What I cannot abide is the story of love we are forced to consume. In 2022, Americans spent almost $24 billion dollars on Valentine’s Day including on candy (56%), greeting cards (40%), flowers (37%), an evening out (31%), and jewelry (22%).If this is how you show your love, go for it. However, if you feel pressured to give your diabetic partner sugar-free candy or spend $4 to $5 dollars on a greeting card or pay double for a bouquet of flowers, don’t. I am reminded of the Extreme song, “More Than Words,” make Valentine’s Day (everyday) more than gifts.
Start with Self-Love
Recently, I wrote a post on LinkedIn about how I’m a better human than I used to be. It may not be for the reasons you might think like I began fostering senior dogs (although I want to do this) or I donated blood (which I do) or my work is focused on food security and sovereignty. Instead, I started to love myself. This meant I stopped judging myself and others. I gave myself grace and let go of my rage. I became an expert on what love is starting with self-love.
Putting myself first has changed my life. I wake up with joy and hope. Instead of being impatient and judgmental to those I encounter, I’m at least tolerant and at most compassionate. It’s not easy; it’s necessary.